I was outnumbered and thereby bamboozled by a super-majority including my wife, sister and two cousins that an 8-day cruise down the Rhein from Basel to Rotterdam and back was just the thing to do. Easy, luxurious, entertaining and expensive. Not one to rock the boat – no pun intended – I agreed and paid in full, up front. 

We were picked up by a tour bus handled by our jovial and expert driver George at the Zürich Airport and promptly delivered dockside in Basel. As I suspected, the average age of the cruisers was somewhere between the last supper and the grave. I reluctantly followed the slow procession down the gang plank, just in time for our first cocktail served in the forward lounge.

We all took possession of our cabins, ours being just below water level while everybody else had opted for the French balconies on the deck above the water. Being chastised for being cheap I inquired about an upgrade which was going to be 300 euros, per person.  ‘That’s a lot of beers and cocktails,’ I protested and ‘since we’re only in the cabins to sleep, I’m happy to be in steerage.’ I won that argument.