The Canadian, the German and the Swiss


Canadian:

I think I should and if I would then maybe something will happen.

 

German:

I know there is and when I do it then it is.

 

Swiss:

When I know there is (or not) then I will do it (or not)

 

Canadian:

Excuse me, I hope you don’t mind, please I would like to get by, thank you again.

 

German:

Attention ! Coming though here, please step aside. Thank you.

 

Swiss:

Pardon me, I will need to get by, thank you very much.

 

Canadian:

I’m so sorry, I had no idea, believe me it will never happen again.

 

German:

Excuse me. I will find out what happened and correct it.

 

Swiss:

So sorry but it wasn’t my fault . Good luck next time.

 

Beer Commercial


The following is from a beer commercial I saw in New Zealand:

Work like you don’t need the money.

Love like you’ve never been hurt.

Dance like nobody’s watching.

Sing like nobody’s listening.

Live like it’s Heaven on Earth

Make every moment count

and help somebody

help themselves

Cheers

The Saver


I have no problems

but I hear you do

for a minimal fee

you can talk to me

I will solve your crisis

get you back on you feet

my advice is your solution

all for a small contribution

you can call me day or night

or fax me your heartaches

my service is personal

you secrets are my trust

my compassion is worth it

pay in full you must

Zendom


My mind is my enemy

a million racing thoughts

and my story is not me

despite it being in my head

where I come from

and where I’m going too

does not place me

in the here and now

 

Tomorrow never comes

and today never ends

I feel the need to seperate

from the me that’s in my head

but my mind is telling me

from all the information

that the world is ending

and the future is fucked

 

To be in the ‘zone’

to enbrace the present

is not about winning

and there are no losers

but I cannot dissacotiate

myself from myself

and the voices in my head

are always in control

 

Where do I stand stil

and how do I find peace

is death really the way

or is life all there is

happiness is just a concept

and pain a reality

how can I help myself

if all I am is me

 

 

Retirement


I can move from my armchair to the hammock

or to the lounge chair on the deck

I can lie down on the couch

stretch out in front of the TV

read all day and roll over

stay in bed until noon

or get up at 3AM to have a drink

I can sleep, snore, snooze and dream

all day and all night long

I can answer the phone

if I feel like it

take out the trash or not

go for a swim whenever I’m hot

drive or walk to town

shop and cook or go out to eat

have a beer for lunch or two

shave or grow a beard

watch other people work

talk about the old times

dream about the future

remember not the blather on

and pretend to be still young