Mad, Mad World


It was the first day we had any rain in over a month and since we had a wet June there are no forest fires to speak of. Not like a couple of years ago when we couldn’t even see the mountains for the smoke and smog. Camp was late today which meant he was held up at the store with customers or there were unforeseen circumstances. He never misses our weekly get togethers over a couple of brews.

Rosie, our Irish server, didn’t wait for my order and just brought me a pint of lager. Not quite the clairvoyant server that Vicky is but she was trying. Camp came in a couple of minutes later and Rosie was right behind him with another pint.

‘What’s new?’ Camps said, ‘and I already know all about the raging pandemic in the US, the lunatic president or how well we’re all doing here in BC. I have to admit I’m feeling a case of covid fatigue coming on. I’m having a normal day and then somebody in a mask complains that I have too many customers in the store. Imagine that. That never happened before except maybe at Christmas. She made me guard the door and actually turn customers away. That’s why I’m late?’

‘I know what you mean Camp. I’m tired of it as well. We act as if everybody is a potential covid-19 carrier, as if everybody is asymptomatic. Theoretically possible but highly unlikely, especially when we keep our distances and sanitize our hands every time we walk into a store or restaurant. We are now ruled by this poxy RNA code which is not even a life form.’

‘And here to stay I’m afraid,’ Camp said. ‘Play safe and stay safe.’

‘I read an article in my Swiss paper which talks about the mad pharmaceutical shopping spree that every Western government is on, in search of a vaccine. The reality however is that none of the 165 vaccines currently in development has been approved for human use and not a single one has been proven to be effective against covid-19. In other words, the race is still completely open,’ I said.

‘Well, I’m not holding my breath and even if one succeeds and becomes available for the likes of you and me, there will be hordes of anti-vaccine proponents who will refuse to take it. We’re living in a mad, mad world.’

‘For me, give me every vaccine that will prevent any disease or sickness in the future. Shingles, tetanus, flue, pneumonia, covid. Sign me up,’ I said. ‘Let’s face it, without vaccines we would have polio, small pox, whooping cough, measles, scarlet fever and a smorgasbord of other nasty bugs and illnesses, some of which I had as a child.’

‘We should have a vaccine against stupidity, vanity, greed and religion,’ Camp said.

I laughed and finished my first pint. ‘Good one Camp, it’s nice to dream.’

‘You two are having a laugh? That’s unusual,’ Rosie said.

‘Well yeah, Camp here would like a vaccine against stupidity.’

‘All I know is that there are already plenty of things that make people stupid, like drugs or too much booze,’ she said.

‘Or listening to false prophets and poor or no public education. What we need is a happiness vaccine,’ I said.

‘The good news is, there is one already, but it’s not a vaccine, it’s an oral and liquid remedy. We’ll have two of those Rosie, please.’ Camp said, holding up his empty mug.

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