Weed vs Booze

‘Camp I know you’ve indulged in the wacky tobacco when you were young and carefree. How much do you smoke these days or is alcohol your poison of choice?’

            ‘First of all neither beer nor weed are poisons. I don’t smoke the stuff anymore because I like my lungs to operate on air and save my throat for swallowing but I do indulge in a brownie or a home baked cookie once in a while.’

            ‘What? To get high or just for the fun of it?’

            ‘Mostly to help me sleep but I have to admit the music sounds better after a cookie.’

            ‘Where do you get the cookies or brownies?’

            ‘My neighbour grows 4 plants, the allowable limit per household in BC, and has become very innovative and creative in getting the most out of her garden produce. She also makes pot-honey. One teaspoon in a cup of tea before bed does wonders for us insomniacs. What about you? You used to smoke the stuff. Remember the lids of Mexican weed, the Thai sticks or hash from the Hindukush?’         

            ‘Well, yes, that was when I thought I’d live forever. These days beer is king and wine is the queen.’

            ‘What brought all this on? Do you have some product you want to get rid of?’

            ‘No, nothing like that. It’s this article I just read in my Swiss Newspaper. It’s about a highly secret location where the weed for future Swiss stoners is grown in a very scientific government operation.’

            ‘Ok, so what’s so special about that. Its already legal in half of the US, Canada, Holland and even Thailand.’

            ‘The Swiss, with typical Teutonic pragmatism have been developing and tinkering for two years until the optimal plants were available. Nothing of this project has anything to do with coincidence. The final product which is then given to 2000 study participants, is precisely defined down to its DNA.’

            ‘Wow, how will they classify it? The effects are so subjective. A great high for one is instant paranoia for the next one.’

            ‘Good point. The article doesn’t talk about this. The company called Pure was able to purchase 1000 cannabis seeds and break down their DNA. They have recorded all the world’s genetic make-up of these species and use this data for the precise development of their product. In the case of hashish products, the raw materials containing THC and CBD are mixed in the right proportion after extraction. They intend to make several products from one plant, so that the whole plant is used and recycled and there will be no waste.’

            ‘Isn’t this going a bit too far? It’s weed after all,’ Camp said.

            ‘Are you telling me that the production of wine and beer doesn’t undergo scientific processes exactly like these? Wine is created in a lab today, not in the back yard and beer is brewed by chemists and entrepreneurs. We are living in the age of exact science in what we eat and drink. Except us seniors who are the new home growers, cultivating our own lettuce, tomatoes and weed.’

            ‘What is this experiment in Switzerland supposed to prove?’ Camp asked. 

            ‘More will be known in July. Then the first harvest happens and sales of nine flower and hash products commissioned by the City of Zurich will start after the summer holidays. Expect some expert stoners to voice their relevant opinions and laws will be drafted later.’ 

            ‘Just legalize it,’ Camp said. ‘It worked here. No big deal. Everybody can smoke and drink whatever they desire. It’s a free for all and the government rakes in the taxes.’

            ‘Do you take pot?’ Camp had to ask Vicky when she exchanged our suds.

            ‘No, but my mom does. Mellows her out and helps her sleep. I prefer Sex on the beach,’ she said, winking at me.

            Camp was taken aback until I told him: ‘It’s a cocktail with Vodka, Peach schnapps and orange juice, I think.’ 

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