It all started with the washing machine. Five years old. No warranty. Built to fail. Repairs cost more than replacement.  We now have a new washing machine. Same as the old one.

            Then the hot-tub breaker kept tripping. I bought a new 40A GFI breaker. Same thing. The heater needed replacing since it was the culprit that tripped the breaker. Then the tub started leaking. A substantial leak, maybe 50 litres per day. I tried the magic ‘Fix a leak’ solution. No luck. I ignored the leak and refilled the tub every few days. I eventually let it drain, figuring that when the leaking stopped, I could pinpoint the culprit jet and seal it with silicone. Or not. The water kept leaking until it was four inches from the bottom. Then it stopped. The leak is at the very bottom of the tub. Good to know. I’ll deal with it later, maybe in the fall.

            Minor pieces of household machinery overheated or just quit working. First the iron. No big deal. We ordered a new one from Amazon. It arrived within days. Then the blender gave up the ghost. It felt awfully hot to the touch and just didn’t want to blend any more. Same procedure. Order on line, pay by card and the new mixer arrived within days. Like magic. Just click and pay.

            My electric biked started behaving unusually. It kept surging and I never knew when I had electric assist and when not. To pedal that monster without the battery is torture and plainly unsafe. Frustrated I watched some U-tube videos, trying to figure out the cause and after some back and forth with the manufacturer nailed it down to a the bottom bracket torque sensor. Just pay by card and wait for the part to arrive. This time with the help of a friend we were able to exchange the malfunctioning part and to my surprise it fixed the problem. Eureka!

            What broke down next? Let me think. Was it the fan in the cottage or the electric toothbrush? Both are new now and under warranty. My watch stopped working. It needed a battery except nobody in Gibsons could change it. Wait for a trip to the city. 

            Whenever I mention to somebody that one of my machines is on the frizz, they tell me of their woes and headaches with their toys, gadgets or cars. Maybe it’s the erratic weather, maybe solar flares but everybody’s whirling, moving, floating and rolling equipment seems to be failing or breaking.  

You may ask what I did with all the non-working gadgets? I recycled them. In other words, I dropped them off at the recycling depot, hoping they wouldn’t get sent to China or the Philippines. Out of sight, out of mind applies here.

            Then the boat motor started to sound funny, just as we were cruising along on the other side of Keats Island, as far away as we could possibly be from the harbour. My hardly used 60HP E-Tec motor which used to sound like a Swiss sewing machine suddenly sounded like a tuc-tuc in Morocco. Rattle, clunk, rattle clunk, instead of a steady, breathy whiz. I’m now waiting for a spot in Garry’s boat motor hospital. Very coveted and hard to get into. I should try and bride him but I don’t know with what. 

            I have a modem, a couple of TVs and we each have an iPhone and laptops. Sometimes all of them work, most of the time one of the devices is down or needs a battery, an upgrade or replacement. That’s just normal and no need to get excited over a computer that keeps shutting down for no reason or a TV clicker that needs batteries.

            The breakdowns of the machinery we own kept getting bigger and more serious. I knew the camper van needed attention but I procrastinated until now. The propane fridge option didn’t work, and the auxiliary generator kept stalling, which made it useless. I finally bit the bullet and the whole van went to the RV repair shop. They charge $ 150.- an hour. Just like the mechanic or the plumber. What am I to do? The verdict was two dreadfully corroded batteries, a busted propane regulator and a gummed-up carburetor on the generator.  The bill? You don’t want to know.

            Am I complaining, bitching, crying? Yes. Is all of that machinery necessary for my modern life style? Yes and no. I could live without all that stuff but since I own it, use it and paid for it, I want it all to work. A non-working motor is just an anchor and a defunct vehicle is just a huge metal lump in the yard.

            ‘Rich man’s problems,’ my daughter would say and she is right, of course. It’s the curse of the modern world. We’re reliant on motors and gadgets, screens and wheels. It’s what separates us from the cave man, it’s what makes the world go around.

            The moral of the story: If you want a car, an e-bike, a cooling fan, a big screen TV, smart phones, a boat and a camper, a washing machine and ironed sheets and be able to relax in a jacuzzi with a freshly blended margarita then suck it up, fix it and pay up.