Category Archives: Thirsty Thursdays

HOT POTATO

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            Our pub is crowded but Vicky holds our spots for us and we never disappoint. Like clockwork we show up and quaff our couple of pints most Thursdays. We talk at each other, sometimes with each other, other times around each other and we never run out of topics. Mostly we’re preaching to the choir, reinforcing our points of view, finding common ground in our opinions and ideas. A lot of our talk is driven by current politics, world affairs and the fate and state of our species. Right now, the 400+ raging wildfires in our province are foremost in our minds. We’ve been lucky here at the coast and haven’t had any smoke. So far so good.

Do you ever listen to the New York Times Daily?’ I asked Camp.

‘I’m too busy most days. Unlike you I’m still working and running a bookstore is a fulltime job, especially in the summer with all the tourists. I’m not complaining, just pointing it out.’

‘I listened to a segment the other day, on 4th August. It was about the wildfires. ‘According to David Wallace-Wells, a climate scientist, it is now clear that we are not in charge of nature anymore and that it’s the other way around. Nature is in charge once again and the 30 to 50 million acres of wildfires this summer in Canada are proof thereof. Smoke as far away as New York and Florida. 

In Canada alone this year, these wildfires are producing two to three times as much emissions as the entire Canadian economy — all of its infrastructure, all of its energy systems, all of its transportation, all of its agriculture, all of its factories, all of its cars. More carbon is being produced by wildfires this year in Canada than all of those other sources combined. If wildfires were a country, they would rank # 4 after China, Russia and the USA in terms of emissions. ‘The world is a hot potato’ as a friend of mine wrote in a song some 40 years ago.’

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GALLOWS HUMOUR

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‘How do we maintain our sense of humour when faced with disaster and even extinction, although the latter is a longer process?’ I asked Camp when we were both settled in our customary seats at our seaside pub.

            ‘We can wallow in doom and gloom, moan and groan, feel sorry for ourselves and the whole human race or just get on with it, have a laugh, see the beauty all around us and cherish those close to us.’

            ‘Are you being serious Camp or is this just a refined form of sarcasm?’

            ‘No, I’m serious. Without humour and fun, we’re doomed for sure. Laughter is the one free commodity we can take as much of as we want to and the best medicine for depression or just a bad mood. To laugh at oneself is also rather sobering. Nothing quite as ludicrous as taking oneself too seriously.’ 

            ‘I guess that’s why it’s called gallows humour. As someone said to me the other day: It is difficult to conceive of any sense of humour about impending extinction.’

            ‘I suppose we could just give up and resign ourselves to this apocalyptic vision of tomorrow and then what? Life goes on if we like it or not. The human race will probably survive; maybe in the millions rather than billions, maybe we’ll grow palm trees and pineapples here in the Pacific Northwest and Greenland will be green again. Or I can join the new religion where the gospel is that everything from climate change to Covid is a conspiracy.’

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SNAFU

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            We’re in the midst of the endless summer it seems. No rain for weeks and none in the forecast. Vicky has kindly kept our spot reserved and I sat down grateful for the shady corner. When Camp walked in, I first didn’t recognize him I’ve never seen him in shorts. His pasty, spindly legs could use some exposure I thought but didn’t say anything. 

            ‘Over 900 wildfires burning in Canada,’ I said, ‘and over 350 of them in BC. Is this a state of emergency?’

            ‘It’s snafu,’ Camp said. ‘Situation normal, all fucked up.’

            ‘I read that the CAF are providing two CH-146 Griffon Helicopters and, if needed, a CC-130J Hercules from the Royal Canadian Air Force, to help with the logistics of fighting all these fires.’

‘So far, most of them are in the central and northern parts of the province but the continued hot weather does not bode well for the rest of the summer,’ Camp said, shaking his head of grey curls. 

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THE RISE OF THE RIGHT

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I’ve been over this theme before with Camp but it refuses to go away. No matter where I look, I read about massive Trump rallies or about a new and conservative rich women’s group calling themselves the ‘Mothers of Victory’ or I watch with dismay the destructive rampage in France or I shake my head at the recent Supreme Court decisions, rolling back decades of liberal decisions, taking away protection for minorities. 

Camp was already quaffing his first pint. ‘Must be slow at the book store that you’re here already,’ I said, sitting down.

            ‘I’ve got summer help, an eager student who loves books. She would work for free just to be in the book store.’

            ‘You’re paying her I hope.’

            ‘Of course, I’m not a slave owner.’

            ‘Did you hear that our former prime minister, Stephen Harper, was in Budapest cosying up to Viktor Orbán, to discuss strengthening the collaboration of right-wing parties?  Orbán has also called on Ukraine to concede to Russia, saying Kyiv cannot win the war,’ I said after Vicky brought me some liquid relief.

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Revolution

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         ‘Do you think there is a chance that there will be a reset from income inequality to fair wealth distribution in the rich nations.’

         ‘You mean the poor should be richer and the rich poorer?’ Camp said, raising one of his prominent, white eyebrows. 

         ‘Well, kind off. I guess I’m talking about the fact that according to the Federal Reserve, the top 1% of households in the US holds 32% of the country’s wealth, while the bottom 50%, the least wealthy households, accounted for 2.6%. That’s at the end of 2021. In Canada it’s a bit better.

         ‘Doesn’t surprise me,’ Camp said. According to Forbes data, the combined wealth of all US billionaires increased by 2 trillion dollars, 70%, between March 2020 and October 2021, that is during Covid.’

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PLASTIC

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            Summer has officially arrived and the days are long warm and ‘we are living in the best place, at the best time and we better appreciate it’, says Clare, my wife and compass who steers me along the winding road, making sure I don’t stray and fall down too often. Walking along the sea shore this time of year is always a pleasure but I had things on my mind I needed to air out with my reliable friend who was already in his customary place at our watering hole by the harbour. He looked at me over the rim of his reading glasses, away from his smart phone, like a teenager caught out. I got right to the point. ‘

Did you know Camp that the Philippines are responsible for 35% of plastic waste in the oceans, three times more tonnage than the next in line: India and twice as much as all the rest of the world.’

            ‘No, I didn’t. Should I be surprised? Garbage awareness and recycling are acquired traits and need to be taught from an early age.’

‘Exactly. It’s called social responsibility and if everyone throws their garbage into the rivers and lakes and out the car window then that becomes the accepted norm.’

‘As in: Why should I recycle my empty pop bottle if the car in front of me just tossed out a bag full of McDonalds containers?’

            ‘Yes, most of the roadside garbage originates at fast food outlets but I have to say that here in Canada we’re shamed if we so much as drop a bottle cap in the gutter. Garbage management and recycling are ingrained and littering is fined and not tolerated by the general public.’

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RUSSIAN EXPANSION

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‘How many people have died so far in the Ukraine invasion by Russia?’ I asked Camp, prompted by the daily reports of a ‘counter offensive’ by the Ukrainians in a war of aggression and attrition that began in 2014 with the invasion of the Crimea and on 24th February 2022 with the occupation of parts of the Ukraine by Russian troops. 

‘Estimates go from 10’000 civilian casualties to ten times that many and up to 100’000 soldiers, many of them from the mercenary Wagner group. And counting.

‘Too many and to what end? A crazy dream by a small man who wants to be bigger than Peter or Catherine? Expansions of present-day Russia to its former USSR borders? NATO and the affected small nations will never let that happen, which means this war will go on for a long time.’

‘I’ll give you a little history lesson,’ Camp said and then launched into a lengthy lecture. ‘In 1700, Peter the Great attacked Sweden, Saxe-Poland and Denmark out of the blue. Although he was almost defeated at first, he was victorious in the end and took over large parts of Eastern Europe. A few years later, Catherine the Great got into a fight with the Turks, the Ottoman Empire (1768–1774), knocked them down and would have liked to march as far as Constantinople (Istanbul) if the British had not stopped her. Nevertheless, she won huge territories, including almost the entire northern Black Sea coast, and shortly afterwards the Crimea. Being a native German, she wanted to resurrect the old Eastern Roman Empire. She founded new cities, to which she gave Greek names such as Odessa, Kherson or Mariupol, at the center of Putin’s present war of expansion. 

When Hitler invaded the Soviet Union during operation Barbarossa, causing a bloodbath the likes of which humanity had never seen before, with about 30 million deaths on both sides, it was the Americans, who provided the Soviets with everything they needed to defend themselves against the Nazis. Let me check this,’ Camp said, pawing his smart phone. ‘Oh, here it is: In December 1941, the U.S. decided to send the Russians monthly deliveries, including: 50,000 tons of metals, chemicals, heavy metals, 20,000 tons of petroleum products, 10,000 trucks, 550 tanks, 144 fighter planes and 133 bombers, plus ten shiploads of wheat, flour and sugar. Month after month – until the end of the war, Americans gave the Russians just about everything. Stalin, also a first-class war-criminal, hardly ever paid a dollar but annexed half of Poland, the three Baltic states, Moldova, and northern Bukovina, when he was allied with Hitler. After the war he did not return one square kilometer; rather, he acquired even more territories: from Germany, Romania, Czechoslovakia, Finland and once again from Poland. Meanwhile, America, which had won the war in the first place, did not absorb a single square meter.’

‘Thanks for the update, Camp. History is an endless human drama.’

‘By the way, Russia is still the largest country in this world by far at 17 million ㎢, way larger than Canada at 10 million㎢, or China at 9.7 million㎢ or the USA at a measly 9.3 million㎢.’

While Camp was talking, I was listening and drinking. Now, caught up, he downed his mug in one go, prompting Vicky to swoop in with two cold, fresh brews, on the double.  

‘That’s service,’ Camp said admiringly and we left her a nice big tip.

Homeless

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‘Is it better to be poor in a rich country or a poor country?’ I asked Camp during our weekly meet over a couple of pints.

‘We’ve gone over this before. Being poor and destitute is always a subjective and personal experience and lacks the comparative points of view of those on the outside looking in,’ Camp said. ‘It sucks being poor, anywhere, any time.’

‘I agree, poverty sucks,’ I said. 

‘The stereotyping of homeless people does not help either.,’ Camp said. ‘I remember reading Jack London’s ‘The People of the Abyss’ about his immersion into street life in Whitechapel in order to better understand the predicament of the poorest and homeless. A hundred and twenty years on and the lives of the homeless and the destitute amongst us has not changed much.‘

‘On one side we have thousands of homeless people living on the streets, even in parked RV’s and cars and filling the insufficient shelters night after night. Some of these trailers and RVs parked permanently on public streets, across North America’s downtowns, are rented and we now have such a species as Vanlords.’

‘Yes, and on the other side of the spectrum we have unprecedented wealth, coupled with conservative and reactionary policies stretching the middle-class to a point of insecurity where many are just a paycheck away from going broke. Home prices and the resulting rental increases are not helping and young families are being squeezed from all sides: the bank, the grocery store, the gas station and the landlord,’ Camp pointed out.

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RIGHT IS MIGHT

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            This May was like summer with temps in the mid-twenties and sunshine every day. I love this kind of weather; it’s what we seek out in the winter months. Paradoxically, here on the rain coast, we’re already worried about water. In 4 out of the last 5 years we had stage 4 water restrictions, meaning water only for essential household use. Of course, we all know that this is an engineering and political quagmire issue, not a lack of water but yet, we will once again be restricted for our domestic water use unless it rains in the summer.

            I sat down across from Camp who was focused intensely on his smart phone.  He looked up, kind of guilty when I sat down. 

            ‘Oh, I’m sorry, I’m just reading about the latest lurch to right, this time in Alberta where the vaccine denier and former leader and betrayer of the Wild Rose Party won a majority for the Conservatives. She is the same one who wants to secede from Canada and interferes with her judiciary to mitigate charges against covid and vaccine deniers. It’s a sad day for Alberta and Canada.’

            ‘I’m not disagreeing with you,’ I said, but the writing was on the wall. We live in a world where simple answers to complex problems as well as promises of stopping or even reversing time to a revisionist construct of an imaginary past win over the majority of people. They don’t want change; they don’t want to make adjustments or have restrictions on their life styles and they rather deny reality than change their thinking and behavior.’

            ‘A bit simplistic but it all comes down to trust. Trust in science, trust in statistics, trust in politicians and preachers except the latter two make simple promises they can never keep and motivate their voters with fear of the unknown.’

            ‘I know, the results are disappointing for those of us who hope for a more inclusive, a more open and a more educated society.’

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Cosmos

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‘Did you wallk?’ Camp asked when I took my seat at our usual table at our seaside watering hole. 

‘Yes, the weather is perfect, like July, and the shoreline walk to Gibsons Harbour never loses its magic. There is that smoky haze though, like a silky shroud, covering the firmament. It’s probably the smoke from the Alberta fires. Not a good harbinger.

Camp nodded but would not be deterred from his point of interest for the day. ‘I’ve come across an interesting little item the other day,’ Camp said. ‘Astronomers have witnessed the largest explosion in space. AT2021lwx, as they labelled it, was observed to be ten times brighter than any known supernova, the explosions that occur as massive stars die. This large explosive event has been raging for at least three years and is also  

three times brighter than the light that is emitted as stars are devoured by supermassive black holes. The blast is around 8 billion light-years from Earth and thus occurred when the universe was just 6 billion years old.’ 

            ‘I can’t even imagine anything that long ago, that big and that far away,’ I said, shaking my head and you’re talking to a guy who can’t tell when the moon is waning or waxing.’

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Optimist’s Club Creed

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This moral compass or mantra is hanging in a cheap IKEA frame in in my bathroom and I look at it every time I sit down. I don’t always read it but the other day I made a point of it and I thought it would make a good post. Something for everybody. A reminder of what human beings are capable off. The good part. The part that makes good neighbours, good friends, good politicians. No, maybe that’s one too far. Humans are equipped with extraordinary sensory equipment and instincts. If they would only listen to themselves. Stand still and listen.

Promise yourself…

  • To be strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind
  • To talk health, happiness, prosperity to every person you meet
  • To make all your friends feel that there is something of value in them
  • To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true
  • To think only the best, to work only for the best and to expect the best
  • To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own
  • To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future
  • To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile
  • To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others
  • To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit presence of trouble

‘Those are lofty sentiments,’ Camp said when I showed him the Creed. ‘How is that working out for you so far?’

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Weed vs Booze

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‘Camp I know you’ve indulged in the wacky tobacco when you were young and carefree. How much do you smoke these days or is alcohol your poison of choice?’

            ‘First of all neither beer nor weed are poisons. I don’t smoke the stuff anymore because I like my lungs to operate on air and save my throat for swallowing but I do indulge in a brownie or a home baked cookie once in a while.’

            ‘What? To get high or just for the fun of it?’

            ‘Mostly to help me sleep but I have to admit the music sounds better after a cookie.’

            ‘Where do you get the cookies or brownies?’

            ‘My neighbour grows 4 plants, the allowable limit per household in BC, and has become very innovative and creative in getting the most out of her garden produce. She also makes pot-honey. One teaspoon in a cup of tea before bed does wonders for us insomniacs. What about you? You used to smoke the stuff. Remember the lids of Mexican weed, the Thai sticks or hash from the Hindukush?’         

            ‘Well, yes, that was when I thought I’d live forever. These days beer is king and wine is the queen.’

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Change

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As soon as I sat down, Camp had news for me. Not good news, just some numbers and figures. ‘For 33 days, the global average temperature at the sea surface has not fallen below 21 degrees, according to data from the American National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA). This has never happened since satellite records began in 1981,’ he said.  ‘Usually, a period of cooling begins from mid-March. Now we are at the end of April, and there are still no signs of a drop in temperature.’

‘Well, around here it’s still rather cool, too cold to swim for me.’

He ignored me. ‘Here is another interesting stat. ‘So far this year the world population has increased by 22 million people, about the population, of Ontario (15mio), Alberta (4.5mio) and BC (5mio) together. All that in just 4 months.’ 

‘Ok, so what you’re saying is the world and the oceans are warming up; there are millions of more people who all want more stuff and the world isn’t getting any bigger.‘

‘You got the gist,’ Camp said, leaning back in his chair. ‘We’re fucked.’

‘I want to point out to you that all is not lost. The trees are budding, the spring flowers are blooming, the seeds are sprouting and our garden looks the best ever. That is a project we can do something about and I’ll be damned if I just sit around and think about the demise of the human project. Moping in gloom and doom is not a healthy mental condition and is mostly the territory of old people. And I’m not old, just older.’

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Built to Fail

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‘This has to be the wettest April ever,’ Camp complained as soon as we were seated. ‘Mind you people read books when they can’t go outside. And the ducks are happy.’

    ‘My washing machine broke down, meaning the machine sounded like it was full of chains instead of laundry. I spent the next few hours trying to find out what’s wrong, how to fix it and how much it would cost.’

      ‘Let me guess: You couldn’t find a tecky in Gibsons, the problem could be fatal for the machine and parts could be weeks away and the cost prohibitive,’ Camp said.

        ‘How did you know? I spoke to a rep for two hours until he asked me for my zip code at which point he confessed that his branch office did not service Canada. A sad waste of time. Next, I watched some U-Tube clips about fixing my specific washer problem and how to solve it. Turns out that the machine is built to fail, after about ten years. An aluminium part next to a stainless steel drum which is frequently full of water. There is such a thing as galvanic corrosion which happens when the metals are exposed to a liquid like water. Really? Electricity is conducted between the stainless-steel cathode and the aluminum anode. It’s a washing machine for chrissake!  Something the makers of these machines are perfectly aware of. My machine is only six years old.’

        ‘Spacex is building a new Starship since the first one exploded shortly after takeoff. Musk calls it a success. Think about that! I suppose you’re buying a new washing machine?’

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Hammer and Nail

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We’ve had a very wet and cold Easter Weekend here on the Westcoast and Quebec has just had the worst ice storm in recent memory that knocked out power for over a million people, including Montreal. Sitting in our usual spot in the heated pub this doesn’t feel like spring at all yet. ‘Give me back Mexico,’ I said to Camp taking off my rain-soaked jacket.

Camp raised a quizzical eyebrow. ‘Here is a quote I read: With a hammer in hand, everything looks like a nail. With a gun in hand, everything looks like a potential target. Add a uniform to go with the gun, everything looks like an actual target. It’s about the Mexican Military taking control of the country. AMLO (Andrés Manuel Lopéz Obrador)dissolved the federal police and handed civilian security over to the military. There is no more civilian oversight and Mexico is turning into a military dictatorship. They build airports, resorts, run the railroads and the lucrative customs; they manage themselves and act with impunity and the blessing of their misguided president.

‘Doesn’t surprise me,’ I said.  ‘He’s an admirer of Ortega, Castro and Chavez and even went hat in hand to El Chapo’s mother in Sinaloa. When video surfaced of his brother accepting bags of cash or his son living in a mansion in Houston, he blames the media.’

‘He is a populist who believes in amulets and spells and his ‘hugs instead of bullets’ gospel did not curb Mexico’s rampant violence,’ Camp said raising his pint.

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Airbnb

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‘You rent out your cottage as an Airbnb?’ Camp asked me. I had barely sat down.

“Yeah, we’ve done it for 15 years, first as a B&B and we were part of an association here on the coast which in time got replaced by the no-brainer easy-as-pie Airbnb. They do everything: reservations, bookkeeping, correspondence, peer-reviews, collect and payout the money and arbitrate in case of trouble. They are really a fantastic service.’

‘Considering it started as a couch surfing app. Yes, they have become the most successful millennial organisation. They are so successful; they’ve created a monster and like all monsters it needs to be tamed.’

‘You’re referring to the latest rules and regulations here in lovely Gibsons town?’

‘Yes, and I would like to have your valuable input,’ Camp said, sitting back.

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Too Big

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Camp was already parked in his seat by the window in our seaside pub, focused on his small screen like a teenager. Maybe his bookstore is financed by Credit Suisse?

‘Hey Camp what do you think of the implosion and subsequent acquisition by its rival of one of Switzerland’s and indeed the world largest banks? Was Credit Suisse Too big to fail?’

‘That’s an oxymoron right there my friend. It should be: too big to function, too big to trust, too big to protect, too big to be responsible. As it turns out the Swiss taxpayers are on the hook for billions of dollars of unconditional bailout money and guarantees.’

‘You nailed it: Too big to trust. On the other hand, I have to trust my bank teller who knows everything about my financial situation at the click of a mouse. They know more than my family and sometime even myself, like: Are you aware that your account is overdrawn or your term deposit needs to be renewed?’

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World on Fire

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Camp is away in the big city today for a book event. My chance for a monologue. Every day when I wake up my phone dings and beeps with depressing news flashes on the one side and quirky WhatsApp messages on the other side, plus emails, more daily news, bills and the odd personal note. Depending on how I feel I thumb first through the humorous stuff, add my smilies, thumbs-ups or hearts, then move on to the calamities of the day. Today: A mass shooting in a Jehova Witness temple in Hamburg; intense missile attacks rain down on Ukraines infrastructure; Tiktok app banned from all Canadian and British government phones; visa denied to Chinese diplomat on security grounds and on and on. The best one was a new book by Trump: Dear Donald, a collection of letters from politicians and celebrities. Everybody apparently loves Donald. 

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The Canadian Way

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Camp and I talked about differences between Canadians and Europeans and I told him a story that highlighted the polite nature, sometimes painfully so, against the cut and dry and pragmatic central European way. 

 ‘If a Canadian wants to have a day off, say Friday, they will write an email that reads something like this:

            Hi Jack (presumably they are on first name terms) Sorry to bother you. How are you and your family? Did you have a nice vacation back East and how is Fluffy, your adorable poodle?

            ‘I hope I’m not imposing on your time but due to my cousin Erin having had a baby and her husband being away on a work commitment, I promised to help her out next weekend. Due to this ‘family situation’ I want to ask you a big favour. Could I take next Friday off? I’ll make sure that Bernice will cover me and nobody would be inadvertently affected. I hope that works for you and please let me know if that’s possible. Sincerely, Yours Truly.’

            ‘Ok, I get it, too much information. Too much blah, blah. What’s the Swiss way?’

            ‘Here It is: Hi Jack, I need to have Friday off. Thanks, YT’

            Camp laughed and said: You missed something in the Canadian way. Where and when does Yours Truly apologize for nothing? Like: I’m so sorry Jack but I hope I’m not imposing…

            We both took a sip from our brews and contemplated the different ways of the world. ‘I remember my French friend during his first time in Vancouver. We got on the bus and the driver said a polite: How are you?  Pierre looked at the driver taken aback. ‘Why do you care how am I?’

            ‘Even strangers used to say a polite hello, when they passed each other. Today not so much. And thanks to Covid we even step aside when we encounter somebody coming towards us, as if in passing we could infect each other. Mind you, I find Canadians on the whole a very friendly and polite bunch and I’d rather be known for being too friendly and too polite than a curt pragmatist or a snob or loud and uncouth.’

            ‘May I ask you a personal question Camp?’

            ‘Are you being sarcastic now? Trying to be a super-Canadian?’

            ‘I just want to know if you feel like a Canadian or an Irishman? You are after all from good old Irish stock, aren’t you?’

            ‘I feel like myself, most of the time, not fitting some label or stereotype. I’ve been known to be abrupt and short fused but that’s just me, neither Irish nor Canadian. How about you? Are you Swiss or Canadian?’

            ‘I’m a hybrid,’ I said, ‘mostly friendly and polite but I don’t say I’m sorry, every time I want to ask a question and I try to be exact and to the point and on time which is an exact measurement not a fluid and flexible commodity, like some other people think. And I don’t start sentences with ‘if’ or ‘when’ and I don’t answer questions like: ‘What time is the ferry today?’ with” ‘I think…” I either know the time or not.’

            ‘Point taken but Canadians are usually on time except they make sure as in: Oh, I’m sorry, I hope I’m not late.’

            ‘Sorry to bother you two. How are we all doing? Ready for another one?’ Vicky asked and we both said in stereo. ‘Yes please?’ She gave us a funny look but then she knows us by now.

Progress

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‘Camp isn’t it ironic that we’re living the most comfortable lives of any generation since the beginning of time. We are the most mobile, the technically, medically, socially and financially most advanced, the best fed, pampered and educated of any species ever to wander this planet. and yet, here it comes: we are not happy and the future looks shaky.’

‘I could say something silly like the future always looked rocky, as in the middle-ages, as in the depth of a world war, as in the middle of an earth quake. But you’re right, Instead of a natural disaster, we’re on a path to self-destruction. We are so successful and ingenious that we’ve introduced problems that we have neither the political will nor the resources to solve. Ronald Wright outlined this brilliantly in his 2004 book: A Short History of Progress, a series of Massey lectures about societal collapse.’

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